Mormons and the LGBT community: it's not what you think.

Many of you are here because of the recent rule of the LDS church regarding children of LGBT couples. The following is my take on what is going on, not an official representation of any organization.

I have gay friends. I believe people should be treated equally regardless of sexual preference. I am also a Mormon; a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or LDS church. As such, I was unprepared for the recent rule of the church. I read with shock and surprise articles stating that my church will not allow the children of LGBT couples to be baptized into my church. It took a couple of minutes for the reason for that position to hit.

I guarantee that it's not what you're thinking right now, keep reading.

The church policy can be hard to understand sometimes. the following is from an official statement of the church:
"All visitors are welcome to our chapels and premises so long as they respect our standards of conduct while there. The gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to love and treat all people with kindness and civility—even when we disagree. We affirm that those who avail themselves of laws or court rulings authorizing same‐sex marriage should not be treated disrespectfully. Indeed, the Church has
advocated for rights of same‐sex couples in matters of hospitalization and medical care, fair housing and employment, and probate.."

And yet there is this thing with the kids. If you're saying "What?!" you are not alone. I understand why people are outraged with the way the media puts it. I think they have it completely backwards, although I haven't found an official explanation from the church yet.

Here is the thing, I think this rule is in place to protect LGBT families from being torn apart. It's because we care about them. The rule is not to punish them, it's not because we find them impure, it's not because we hate them, it's not because the children are somehow sinful (all these are against the teachings of the church and contrary to its character)--it's because sexual preference is a core part of a person's identity, and no child should have to choose between faith and family. It is more important that they have a good relationship with their parents than it is for them to be a member of the church.

In the King James version of the Bible in Exodus 20:12 we read, "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." This is one of the big ten commandments, and I believe is the reason the children can't join the church. We believe this trust and respect between parents and children is sacred and to be respected.

We also teach that giving in to same-sex attraction is a sin. Please note that I said "giving into same-sex attraction." Same-sex attraction (or SSA) is not a sin in itself. Many people are born with it and can't help it. It's nothing to be ashamed about; it is a "thorn in the flesh," a trial we are meant to overcome. However, entering into a sexual same-sex relationship is a sin. I don't apologize for this belief; it is scriptural and true. I do promise you that I will not force this belief on anybody or judge people who believe differently. I also can't teach this principle to a kid with two married moms or two married dads. We will not let any underage child join the church without the full support of their parents, regardless of their home situation. No parent could support their child if by example they completely go contrary to the teachings of the church by legal lifestyle choice. We choose to respect the head of the household.

Baptism in The Church of Jesus Christ is not like most other religions. Baptism in this church is the door to membership in the church. Maintaining membership in the church requires obedience to all of God's commandments, not just the ten commandments (again, this rule is to help us to grow, not to punish failure.) A life following the commandments of God means we live by the law of chastity: no sexual relations except with the one person of the opposite gender that we are married to. No exceptions. All members must do this. This does not mean we can't be friends or family with those who do not obey this spiritual law.

Perhaps most famously, only members living by our high standards of  morals and obedience can enter our temples. This has more to do with respect of the sacred and learning line upon line than it has to do with and secrets or a sense of elitism. It is simply very special to us.
Photo credit: "Salt Lake Temple, Utah - Sept 2004" commons.wikimedia.org

As the children come of age and become independent they may choose to join the church. When they are the head of their own household, they are free to choose as they wish. I pray that this rule will come to be seen as what I believe it was intended to do: a way to free families from the possibility of being pulled apart by our faith.

We are all brothers and sisters, sons and daughters of God with divine potential and infinite worth. He loves every one of you, and asks us to love one another. I pray for the day when voices of hatred, fear, misunderstanding, discrimination, and suspicion are replaced by universal love and understanding. We invite all to come to Christ, feel of his love and to join us. I hope this helps us all to come to an understanding.

Please understand that I do not wish to argue. Any language that is confrontational or disrespectful of others, be it Mormons or the LGBT community will be deleted. I hope to unite, not dive here.